Over at Lulu Kitchen & Bar in Sag Harbor on Sunday, a group called East End for Peace and Justice staged a protest against the restaurant’s owner, Apollo Global Management CEO Marc Rowan. The billionaire Rowan also owns Duryea’s Montauk and Duryea’s Orient Point under his hospitality umbrella Montauk Asset Holdings. The activist group, which describes its gathering as a “weekly vigil demanding an end to the U.S.-supported Israeli occupation of Palestine,” chanted anti-Rowan rhetoric while distributing “menus” supporting their position.

Somewhat calmer was Jane Lauder Warsh’s Independence Day dinner party at her oceanfront home in Wainscott. The former Clinique president turned pet-longevity investor, whose birthday is July 1, goes big on Fourth of July, with an elegant dinner for over a hundred—including dogs and ladies who lunch—right off the beach.

In today’s THC, for paid subscribers, a deep dive into the personal microvineyard phenomenon; the return of Amagansett fashion legend Tiina Laakkonen; and a shoplifting epidemic.

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If you are hosting a party today, may I suggest that you wear a black bodysuit and black tights to perform the Little Edie flag dance, one of the great moments of “Grey Gardens.” I’ve had the classic East Hampton documentary on my mind thanks to Apartamento magazine’s lovely story about Jerry Torre, who arrived at the mansion in 1972 as a 16-year-old runaway. He moved in with Little Edie and her mother Big Edie, who called him “the Marble Faun.” Buy it in print, because Apartamento is always worth properly paging through.

In today’s special holiday edition, a report on the watches and wonders of Michael Rubin’s white party; the legendary fashion titan Andrew Rosen’s incredibly macho guide to the Hamptons; and a nerdy chicken salad buzz o’ meter chart. This post is free! But as you may have noticed, some posts are now available only to paid subscribers—join the club.

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The Second-Biggest Party of the Week

I was considering doing a Breaker-style pap stakeout of Michael Rubin’s Bridgehampton white party this week, but I was having too much fun at the nearby Hedges Inn that night to make it over. No promises I won’t be lurking outside next year in a fedora, though.

Even with Rubin’s shift of the date from July 4 to July 1—which, he insisted, was not a concession to Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s nuptials—the Royal Wedding had an effect. Some of the (real) paparazzi I’m in touch with were skipping the Fanatics CEO’s extravagant beach party this year because they were prowling around New York City trying to capture any signs of Swift’s wedding. Cheat-day caterers were torn in two directions. Rubin got Lucali pizza, Red Hook Tavern burgers, sushi, and caviar, while Sartiano’s was seen loading focaccia into MSG.

Rubin still managed to pull in the heaviest room imaginable, with guests including Jay-Z, Martha Stewart, Tom Brady, Alix Earle, Ivanka Trump, and Teyana Taylor, a “pussy posse” reunion with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire, and performances from Snoop Dogg and Alicia Keys. I imagine the scent of the evening was a mix of cigar smoke, Cristal, and spray tan.

The white party has become a nexus of wealth, celebrity and also, critically, dealmaking. “Everyone who comes to that party knows they’re going to meet people around them that are really good for their business,” said Rubin on The Burnouts podcast. Many guests recognized the promotional power of the party, with Todd Graves of Raising Cane’s chicken fingers cross-posting his party pics with his company’s main account, and Mimi Moritz and Kylie Rubin of Y2K-inspired brand Kymi World wearing a $220 white terrycloth set that’s available to buy for only 48 hours.

“It felt like summer camp,” Lucy Guo told me. An AI entrepreneur and Barry’s enthusiast who was for a time the youngest self-made female billionaire, Guo said the white party was a great occasion to see her friends who are “constantly traveling and never have overlap.”

Guo, like other guests, took the party’s dress code seriously. She wore Louis Vuitton pants, a Dior cape, Dior heels, a Dior ear cuff, and a Jacob & Co. ear cuff. She also wore a Patek Philippe Nautilus 5980/1400G-010. Outside of the Watches and Wonders Geneva fair, the white party is one of the major spots for collectors to flex their watches. Celebrity Watch Spotter rounded them up, from Rubin’s “super rare” white ceramic Audemars Piguet Royal Oak (which he angles toward the camera in many photos) to Jake Paul’s Jacob & Co. Billionaire Mini set with 492 diamonds.

Whether or not it was intentional, the date shift paid off. The world’s most in-demand guests, including Jay-Z and Tom Brady, were able to attend both Swift’s wedding and Rubin’s watch junket.

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Fashion-industry soothsayer and fisherman Andrew Rosen never sits still. The son and grandson of garmentos, he was CEO of Puritan Fashions Corp by 26, later ran Anne Klein, and co-founded Theory in 1997. Today, he’s a co-founder of TWP, global executive chair of rag & bone and Alice + Olivia (Brands: What’s wrong with the word “and”?). The part-time Southampton resident is on the board of the brands Skims, Good American, Frame, Veronica Beard and Westman Atelier. A racehorse aficionado, Rosen is a sort of Hamptons racehorse himself, roaming his stores in the villages, crunching diner bacon, and fishing the high seas.

Describe your perfect Hamptons day.
First, I’d do some sort of short exercise after waking up, to loosen up my back. I’d then go to Sebonack [Golf Club] to have breakfast and play some golf with my buddies. After that I would head back to my house in Southampton and enjoy lunch by the pool with my wife and dog and see my grandkids. Next stop would be fishing...ideally in Montauk for some striped bass. The striped bass have been amazing this year. After that, I would head to the TWP stores with my wife to check out the flow.

What’s your favorite spot for a drink?
Not for drinks, but my favorite spot for a meeting is breakfast at Sip’n Soda. The owner Mark and his team make the best breakfast in the Hamptons. I’d have eggs, bacon and some oatmeal.

What’s your secret shopping spot?
Tenet. I like to browse there and see what is on offer. I also like to go to Round Swamp, I like their display and how they do everything.

Who would you love to bump into at the farmers market?
There are two places I always run into people: Sant Ambroeus in Southampton, and the car dealership. Last time I was at the dealership I ran into Calvin Klein and Stan Herman.

What’s your main gripe about the Hamptons?
The season is too short! I don’t think it really gets started until mid June because of the weather and ends in September. I wish it was longer. I do love September and October in the Hamptons though, that is really my favorite time. [Ed. note: Me too. Team September.]

What would be your dream dinner: spot, order, company?
My ideal dinner at home would be with my dog Minnie. I’d have a nice steak. Then Minnie would have some bites. Minnie loves steak and to eat with me. She’s a 14-year-old Schnauzer.

What’s your advice to newbies about a visit out East?
Stay north of the highway. It’s easier to get around.

Where do you go in the Hamptons to be alone?
Fishing, of course. Fishing is one of my favorite things to do, and the fishing in the waters off the Hamptons is great.

What’s your go-to gift for hosts/hostesses?
My go-to is always a bottle of wine.

Who makes the best lobster roll?
Clam Bar, right on the way to Montauk. And their clam chowder isn’t bad either.

What’s the perfect book to read in the Hamptons?
I prefer to read the Racing Form. Horse racing is another one of my passions. I race a lot of horses during the summer and love to bet on the races at Saratoga, so I read the Racing Form to keep current on it all.

Who should fill out this questionnaire next?
Mickey Drexler, no one knows the Hamptons better than him. Want his cell?
[Ed. note: Yes, please.]

If you know someone who would like The Hamptons Chronicle, please share it with them! Support local news. 💙

And finally, I’d like to share the first THC Index on the buzziest chicken salads in the Hamptons, a painstaking collaboration between myself, Taylor Gabrovic (my wonderful babysitter and a photographer and reporter in her own right), and my husband Nathaniel Kilcer. I will admit that the fixation on chicken salad is a bit of a mystery to me. Blame it on Bethenny Frankel, blame it on carb-free lifestyles, blame it on an aversion to post-beach cooking—whatever the reason, it’s unavoidable. Here’s our guide to navigating $20 plastic containers of chicken.

But sweet strawberries are no longer the main indication of peak summer in the Hamptons; brand activations are. Peppy ambassadors hand out electrolyte water and “functional coffee” samples at workout classes, and alcohol companies clamor to pop up at liquor stores and bars. Skincare brands compete to be part of gift bags given to women who will pass them directly to their nannies.

Now we’ve hit Peak Branded Car. They’re everywhere, from Jamagansett’s green vintage Benz to the Via Carota Cocktails wicker-seated Fiat to the Jones Road pickup truck to the Dune Skincare dune buggy. Last week at the NOMAD art fair, I saw designer Stuart Parr’s 1961 Coca Cola Fiat, which was used by the soda company as a promotional car, a precursor to today’s rolling ads. Charming in the sixties, cloying in the 2020s?

In today’s newsletter, for paid subscribers, some only-in-the-Hamptons curiosities: the wild story behind Multi Aquaculture Systems, a hidden Amagansett hatchery with great food; a be-toweled alley flasher alarms an East Hampton woman; Jennifer Fisher trusts her gut for her new collaboration with Maison Close in Southampton.

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Bobbi Brown introduced Molin to a crowd drinking rosé and munching on pigs in blankets. The restaurant’s owner Alex Rossi, known for keeping former Pollock and De Kooning haunt Springs Tavern alive, seemed excited to christen his new spot. Molin spoke about some of the work the organization has done, including coordinating dental work, building homes, and helping provide basics like food and clothing. The crowd, which included Brooke Shields, Candace Bushnell, and Molly Jong-Fast, wept—and hopefully, will open their checkbooks.

I’m headed to the NOMAD fair shortly, for a picnic by Cove chef Flynn McGarry hosted by exhibitor Giorgio Armani. As it’s raining, hopefully there will be some chic umbrellas. (Speaking of which, the great designer Patrick McGrath once recommended the Serena and Lily Lake Stripe Fringe Umbrella and the Tuuci Ocean Master Hexagon Umbrella to me when I was looking to replace my outdoor umbrella. I ended up getting one from L.L. Bean.)

In today’s The Hamptons Chronicle, Andy Cohen’s favorite spots, a whale washes up on the shore near Montauk’s $3 million trailers, and our very first Hydrangea Award. This post is free! But as you may have noticed, some posts are now available only to paid subscribers—join the club.

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Andy Cohen’s Hamptons Haunts

Andy Cohen is my celebrity imaginary friend. I fantasize about walking out of a dinner at the Corner Bistro with Andy*, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Amy Sedaris to newfallen snow, or rocking out with Andy at a Dead and Co. show at the Sphere. This week’s Architectural Digest feature on Andy’s beachfront Amagansett house was catnip to me, but it was also torture. Lines like this gave me an irrational sense of FOMO: ”When he entertains, long cocktail hours unfold on the roof terrace, tequila and Fresca flowing, before everyone migrates to the dining tables—one indoors for 14, the other outdoors for eight.” That’s room for 22 people. Surely sometimes Kelly Ripa drops out—I can cook.

I’m a disciple of Andy’s diaries, which are Warhol-esque in the sense that he writes about knowing everyone and appearing everywhere at once. The author, radio host, and Bravo impresario behind Watch What Happens Live and The Real Housewives franchise has the indefatigable energy of a winner—but the Hamptons is where he goes to unwind. In his diaries he often talks about arriving out east late on Friday night and going straight to Sam’s Pizza in East Hampton where he orders a medium mushroom-and-onion pizza, well done.

I was thrilled when the King of Sam’s, the Daddy Deadhead, and Anderson Cooper’s bestie agreed to participate in The Hamptons Chronicle’s signature questionnaire, where we ask insiders about their favorite east-end spots.

Describe your perfect Hamptons day.
Take the mini convertible to Goldberg’s in Montauk for flagels with the kids, hang on my beach all day, Sam’s Pizza for dinner.

What’s your favorite spot for a drink?
My jacuzzi.

What’s your secret shopping spot?
The Ladies Village Improvement Society.

Who would you love to bump into at the farmer’s market?
SJP.

What’s your main gripe about the Hamptons?
The traffic!

What would be your dream dinner?
It’s always Sam’s Restaurant in East Hampton for house salad and a medium mushroom/onion pizza.

What’s your advice to newbies about a visit out east?
Have friends to hang with… don’t go chasing glamour.

Where do you go in the Hamptons to be alone?
My beach.

Who can’t you live without in the Hamptons?
My friend Fred knows everything and is handy.

Who makes the best lobster roll?
Lunch!

*I broke my own self-imposed THC style guide of using last names on second mention, because Andy is my imaginary friend and it feels weird to call him “Cohen.”

Other Hamptons Ten participants have included Estelle Bailey-Babenzien, Katie Couric, and Jenna Lyons.

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A Whale of a Smell

Today, a stench is wafting across Montauk’s so-called trailer park, where billionaires pay over $3 million for beachfront mobile homes. A juvenile humpback whale washed up in the shallow water near Ditch Plains beach, creating an odor that local surf instructor Corey Senese called “the worst smell I’ve ever smelled.”

Humpback whales feed on menhaden fish close to shore, following baitfish into nearshore coastal waters. They can get hit by boats, entangled with fishing equipment, or die of natural causes. The rock embankment that protects the trailer park may make the traditional sand burial difficult as authorities figure out what to do with the whale today. Meanwhile, surfers are stressing. One told me, “The problem is sharks will be trying to get to shore to feed on it. And once sharks get a habit of checking for food in a certain spot they always just come to check just in case.”

Normally, humpback whales can live up to 90 years old.

Best Pie: Briermere Farms Cream Pie

I’m not shy about calling out the best things; just ask my friends. The best red nail polish? Essie’s A-List. The best tote bag? Pacific Tote Company’s Catalina. So as I wade through endless press releases, social-media posts, and testimonials, I will endeavor to bring you The Best of the Hamptons. This is an extremely subjective—yet informed—process. The winners will be bestowed a “Hydrangea Award,” which, for now, will be an Instagram post and bragging rights. But I could see a gala awards ceremony in our future.

This week, the Hydrangea Award for Best Pie in the Hamptons goes to Briermere Farms in Riverhead, NY. While researching my story for New York’s Hamptons issue on bougie baked goods, I went to a lot of farmstands and bakeries and interviewed the area’s most legendary hosts and hostesses. Many of them named Briermeres’ cream-fruit pies as the ultimate east-end baked good. Philanthropist and jewelry designer Brooke Garber Neidich, personal chef Robyn Henderson-Diederiks, bookseller Cleo Le-Tan, and photography agent Skylar Pittman all swear by Briermere’s pies.

Clark McComb, the Yale-educated oldest brother of Briermere’s farming family, crankily declined my interview request. But that won’t stop me from driving an hour to pay $45 for his blueberry, strawberry, and peach cream pies.

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I spent part of my weekend undertaking the Herculean mission of ordering fried shrimp and ribs at Shelter Island’s legendary Commander Cody’s fish market. Commander Cody’s, which was opened by Jimmy Hayward in 1993, is a rustic seafood and barbecue spot with long waits and great beach grub. (I have a group chat whose signature emoji is the “🍤” in honor of Cody’s.) Hayward, who is 91, still mans the cash-only till. My father’s day gift to my long-suffering husband was handling our Cody’s order and the subsequent wait, while he had a massage at another Shelter Island institution, the Bonheur Supreme Spa across from Sunset Beach.

In today’s newsletter: the jetsetter art fair NOMAD—complete with a Giorgio Armani exhibition—arrives in Water Mill; Alex Gilbert; Nicolas Bellavance-Lecompte; Robert Wilson; the cocaine chronicles; a Montauk cab driver; Lizzie Grubman; Stefan Soloviev; New York’s Hamptons issue; Jamagansett’s $80 pie; Sam Pezzullo; Kristen Wiig; Rukmini Callimachi; Marit Molin.

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On “Heart of the East End” radio this morning, leather daddy Peter Marino was encouraging visitors to come to his Peter Marino Art Foundation in Southampton while the roses are in full bloom in June (“A deer tried to devastate them,” he noted). Marino, who pretty much invented the look of the contemporary luxury store with his designs for Chanel and LVMH boutiques, opened the museum in 2021 to house his extensive art collection and rotating exhibitions. He called the current slate, including painters Betty Parsons and Robert Nava, a “smorgasbord of taste.”

Read on for an exclusive report on Meredith Shumway’s expansion into the city, the surprising star of the U.S. Open, and Estelle Bailey-Babenzien’s Hamptons Ten.

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A Hamptons Workout Queen Lands on the UES

Former Tracy Anderson fitness instructor Meredith Shumway sells out her $55 dance-cardio workout classes from Memorial Day to Labor Day—no small feat in a cutthroat, crowded Hamptons fitness scene. As I reported last year, boutique fitness classes from Quogue to Montauk are known for wait lists, parking lots stuffed with vintage Land Rovers, and buff arms stacked with gold jewelry. “The Formula X Meredith” is one of the scene’s stars.

Working out of her mother’s modest dance studio, Shumway created a grassroots alternative to the branches of Equinox and Soulcycle right across the street in Bridgehampton’s Bermuda Triangle of Elite Fitness. Meredith’s classes, which are full of local women year round, have a cozy, independent feeling. That said, they’re still a scene: The music is so loud, ear plugs are suggested, and the handbags in the cubbies would rival the ground floor of Saks Fifth Avenue. Shumway, who just ramped up her business by opening a new studio on the Upper East Side, shares the secrets to her success.

On opening Formula on the Upper East Side:
After my first summer, so many clients kept asking the same question: “What am I supposed to do after Labor Day?” A huge portion of our summer community lives on the UES and it felt like the natural next step. The Upper East Side is filled with ambitious, busy women who prioritize their health and that’s exactly who I built The Formula for.

How she’ll manage working in two places:
A lot of time in the car and a very organized calendar! I’ll continue classes regularly in both locations because I feel most alive when I’m teaching, coaching and sweating with everyone. The Hamptons will always be home, but New York is an exciting new chapter. The goal has never been to replace one community with another, it’s to grow both. In the fall I will be in NYC two to three days a week and the Hamptons the remainder.

On the overlap between the UES and Bridgehampton clients:
Many of our Hamptons clients live in Manhattan during the week and head east on the weekends and in the summer. One of the things I’m most excited about is giving them a Formula home wherever they are. It’s been so fun watching our city and Hamptons communities start to blend together and realize they’re really part of one larger family.

On building a sold-out business:
I actually checked the schedule before this interview, and every class I’m teaching is sold out through Labor Day. There are a handful of 8:15 a.m. classes with one or two spots left, but that’s about it. The support from this community continues to amaze me.

What everyone’s wearing in class:
I’m a huge fan of onesies- I love layering them with shorts or track pants. That’s my staple formula uniform with a classic trucker hat. But I’m still seeing a ton of capri pants in class which are having a moment. And seeing a lot of matching sets so far this summer, beautiful neutrals, soft blues and classic black.

On the song of the summer:
My ultimate pump-up song changes almost weekly, but currently it’s Until The End (feat Raphaella) the VIP Mix by Henri Pfr. It’s the most played song in my classes right now!

Shockingly, golf is one of THC’s first recurring sections. I still find the sport to be an elitist bore—sorry!—but the circus around the U.S. Open is compelling. One star of this week’s tournament is Jon Jennings, the appealingly earnest superintendent of Shinnecock Hills Golf Club. It’s Jennings’s time to shine, like Michael Scott hosting the Dundies on ‘The Office.’ And I cannot get enough of the content about the perfect “syringing” (misting) of blades of grass, and the bonkers calisthenics he leads his staff in every morning (see below at minute 4:16).

Mockumentary jokes aside, Jennings’s job is undeniably complicated, and it got me thinking about the economics of golf clubs. Top clubs like Shinnecock have 6 or even 7-figure initiation fees on top of hefty yearly dues, but the cost of retaining top staff like Jennings and maintaining a course like Shinnecock is staggering. Private clubs generally operate as nonprofits under the Section 501(c)(7) tax exemption, so Shinnecock’s finances are public. With $10.7 million in revenue in 2024 but $10.2 million in expenses, the club is essentially breaking even.

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Our signature questionnaire where we ask Hamptons insiders about their favorite spots. This week, Noah co-founder and founder of The Dream Awake Design Estelle Bailey-Babenzien, who has been coming to East Hampton since 2001. Along with her husband and collaborator Brendon Babenzien, Estelle has set the tone for an instantly recognizable brand of unexpected prep. Her Hamptons is a Lisa Frank vision of dolphins and sunsets.

Describe your perfect Hamptons day.
The perfect day would be three hours longer so I could fit all my favorite things: wake up to blue skies and sunshine, make matcha and go to meditate barefoot in my moss garden, make breakfast for my family, enjoy some gardening and then head to the farmer’s market in Springs where I pick up goodies for the day, then pack a cooler and head to the beach. The waves would be perfect for my husband and daughter to surf, and the beach isn’t too busy, just friends and people we always see. We spot whales and dolphins, take a long walk, and even have a nap. Then it’s home for an outdoor shower, reset, rest and then dinner with people I love.

What’s your favorite spot for a drink?
Sagaponack Farm Distillery is great for a martini. I really like overlooking the water, so I imagine the newly open Lighthouse Cafe in Montauk will be a great spot.

What’s your secret shopping spot?
Amagansett overall has the best boutiques. I have scored some gems at the ARF Thrift and Treasure shop. Love Adorned is great for unique new and vintage jewelry and gifts. For art, Galerie Sardine is a treasure for those ahead of the curve.

Who would you love to bump into at the farmer’s market?
Running into chef Daniel Humm would be great, as he would give me tips and inspiration on what to buy. I mostly love to bump into friends and their kids I haven’t seen in ages for spontaneous catch-ups and plan making.

What’s your main gripe about the Hamptons?
There are not enough places to eat quality food, especially at reasonable prices.

What would be your dream dinner: spot, order, company?
My favorite dinners are usually at home, or at the homes of friends who love to cook and host beautifully with farm ingredients from Balsam Farms and Amber Waves Farm, meat from Mecox, fish from Stuarts, and tomatoes from the garden. Those meals are always freshest, simple and delicious. A beach potluck is always great, when we all bring food—I love to pick up the Freddie Bowl or Leilani Bowl from Doubles—to our favorite bay beach spot for a sunset dinner and bonfires. The kids play freely and we feel totally present, on our own time and terms.

What’s your advice to newbies about a visit out East?
Take it slow, get in flow, dress down not up, enjoy nature, cook new recipes and forget the rest.

Where do you go in the Hamptons to be alone?
Beach walks or the hammock in my garden.

What’s your go-to gift for hosts/hostesses?
Anything from E-E Home is a spectacular gift. The owner Elizabeth has a perfect range of special items that are hard to find. The matcha chocolate with soba crunch by Kettle is divine, I bring it with a good bottle of tequila. Cans of Aplos Ume spritz are fantastic alone or as a mixer with tequila.

Who makes the best lobster roll?
My friend Fifi owns the Crabby Shack in Brooklyn and that’s the BEST lobster roll I’ve ever had. So, when she comes to stay she always brings a bunch of lobster and makes rolls for us at the beach. It’s heaven!

Can you recommend a favorite summer read?
A good memoir is always insightful. Currently I’m listening to “The Telepathy Tapes”’ podcast. It’s incredible.

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This weekend! If you have a little LoveShackFancy-wearing Drunk Elephant-smearing person in your house, be sure to take them to Sage and Madison in Sag Harbor on Saturday from 2-4pm for nail company Olive & June’s collaboration with KatieJ. It’ll be tween heaven, with free nail art and hand-painted bows, bag charm making with BaubleBar, ice cream from A La Mode, snacks from Babe’s, and dirty sodas from Fontaine’s.

If you know someone who would like The Hamptons Chronicle, please share it with them! Support local news. 💙

Today, we start with some darker news—everything we know about the death last week of a 35-year-old Substack writer in Montauk.

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A Niche Internet Writer Dies on a Montauk Trail

On June 11, a body later identified as Lauren Balik, 35, was found near the Montauk Point East Overlook at Camp Hero State Park.

The state police said that the investigation is ongoing. No further details have been released.

Balik was a financial writer and data engineer in niche Internet circles who wrote about obscure connections between finance, tech, geopolitical intrigue, and Kabbalah symbolism for her Substack, and on her Twitter account with over 33,000 followers. On June 9, she posted what appears to be biographical details to X: “Steven Charles Balik, Born October 13 1990, Reston Virginia.”

Balik’s brother Brian posted a tribute to social media saying, “We sadly have lost one of my siblings this week after a long battle with mental health challenges.” Brian nodded to the family’s love of hiking and the outdoors in the post.

Camp Hero, now a state park, was a WWII-era coastal defense site disguised as a fishing village, later used as an Air Force radar station until 1982. The 754-acre park surrounding Montauk Point Lighthouse looms large in speculative conspiracy theory corners of the internet. It served as an inspiration for the supernatural TV show “Stranger Things,” which was originally called “Montauk.” There’s no immediate indication from Balik’s writing that she had any connection to the east end. A resident of Brooklyn, she often hiked in the tri-state area.

Balik’s Substack, “Lauren Balik’s Almanac & Revue,” was a sporadically updated chronicle about the hidden patterns behind finance and tech. The last post to her 2,200 subscribers, in April, was a pitch of herself for “wholesome projects.” In a description of her skillset, she wrote, “I run large parts of the digital space.” She also spoke about “Banksy-style digital projects which had the power to create real world outcomes with real humans here on Earth firing up output back into the digital cloud in feedback loops.” A few of Balik’s subscribers pointed me to a lengthy post she wrote in November 2025 about “esoteric assassinations.” The post describes people who went down online rabbit holes which ended badly.

Balik had many followers around the Internet, including establishment figures like Joe Weisenthal of Bloomberg’s Odd Lots podcast, who called her a “true original.” One of Balik’s Substack subscribers told me, “Lauren was a detective of sorts who clearly understood some secret things about the world and was willing to share them in her own odd way. They spoke in code often and also translated code that was spoken out in the world and taught us how to translate it.”

This is a developing story and it will be updated as we learn more.

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The beloved East Hampton Gardens center is in peril. Fashion-world alum Michael Giannelli, who’s run the Gingerbread Lane shop for ten years as well as doing garden design, says his landlords have sent an abrupt notice that he must vacate the premises by October 31, or December 31 with an extension. Giannelli wrote a letter to the EH Star explaining, “There was no first right of refusal, no meaningful discussion about our future at the property, and no opportunity to negotiate.” In an Instagram video titled “Devastated,” he said, “If anyone knows of anything adorable and fabulous out in the Hamptons that we could possibly reinvent keep us posted.”

“It’s so heartbreaking,” says Giannelli’s client Gwen Whiting, the founder of The Laundress and The Fill and a resident of Bridgehampton. “Michael is the kind of quintessential Hampton person that we love and need more of…he’s preserving the type of beautiful business that we love that are dropping like flies.”

“All the cool, fabulous, charming things are disappearing at a rapid pace,” adds Whiting, who also cited Estia’s restaurant.

The U.S. Open begins this week at the Shinnecock Hills Golf Club in Southampton, bringing a transportation quagmire, football fields’ worth of merch, and thousands of men with alcohol-induced rosacea. The first round of championship play is June 18, but the site is already mobbed (one man in the Sag Harbor White’s was complaining today that the traffic made it hard to get to his other golf club). A few notes:

• Architecture: The Open is a wonderful occasion to check out the 1892 club house designed by Stanford White, one of the great east end architects (he also designed Montauk’s Seven Sisters). Normally, cell phones are not permitted—outside of one’s car or the telephone room—at the club house.

• Merch: The USGA pulled in a record $333 million in 2025, much of that attributed to the U.S. Open. While that doesn’t break out merchandise, men in polos are already lining up this year to buy more polos. North Carolina brand Peter Millar is the official outfitter. Something tells me that no one from the nearby Shinnecock Reservation will be buying one of the official Smathers & Branson needlepoint belts embroidered with Native American chief heads.

• Transportation: The tournament recommends LIRR, which has added a temporary “Shinnecock Hills Station” on the Montauk line (my spies say the trains are already standing-room-only). If you drive, you’ll need to park in a distant lot that requires a shuttle. There are just a few spots left for Thursday’s Blade helicopter rides from the city, which take less than an hour, cost around $1,480, and deliver you steps from the links. The entrepreneurial Captain Chip Cheek is offering scenic boat rides from the North Fork. Inevitably, jokesters are saying that they’ll just swim to the event.

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Another hotly anticipated item in the calendar is the reopening of Galerie Sardine tomorrow. We have the scoop on what Amagansett’s resident earth mother Valentina Akerman is planning this summer for the Hamptons’ premiere art destination, below. Plus, scroll further for the ongoing saga of Alec and Hilaria Baldwins’ house sale, and some very East End Knicks merch.

As the weekend winds down, I’d love to see you at our second “office hours” coffee date: Monday from 9-10:30am at The American Hotel. If you plan to have a Bloody Mary, make sure you have Edward Burke’s number on speed dial.

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How Galerie Sardine Has Stayed “Odd” While Reinvigorating the Hamptons Art Scene

Valentina Akerman wasn’t sure she would be able to open Galerie Sardine again in Amagansett this year. After two summers showing art and hosting dinners with guests like Cindy Sherman and Elle Fanning in a 1701 farmhouse on Main Street, her lease was in jeopardy. The owners, who had bought the house without immediate plans to use it, suddenly wanted it back. But Akerman pleaded her case in a heartfelt letter, secured it for another summer, and got to work.

With her zen demeanor and chic, casual look—navy sweatpants, The Row Mary Jane shoes—you’d never know that Akerman pulled together an ambitious roster of programming for Galerie Sardine’s summer in less than a month. Her husband, artist Joe Bradley, who co-founded the gallery with her, helped out, as did a few art handlers and helpers (the Colombian Akerman says speaking Spanish is helpful on the East End). This weekend, the gallery reopens with an exhibition of delicate, haunting fabric pieces from Kritika Manchanda and Rafael Prieto. Most of the pieces are made of white cotton, evoking the textile’s complex, colonialist history in India. At the opening tomorrow, the multitalented Prieto will present an edible shirt made of Mexican chocolate from Chiapas.

Although Akerman was originally planning on a “mellow” summer by the beach with her four children, she says “I guess it’s not in my nature.” The rest of the season is stacked, with a show pairing the work of ceramicist Jane Yang-D’Haene and Brazilian painter Allan Gandhi, an exhibition by Japanese-born, Brooklyn-based artist Susumu Kamijo, and outdoor screenings with artists including Shaniqwa Jarvis and Margarita Jimeno. Sprinkled around the gallery is furniture from Somerset House, like the Pierre Chapo double chair where Akerman and I sit in to chat face-to-face on a recent Saturday.

A lot has happened since last summer. Akerman opened a gallery in Tribeca on Lispenard Street. She’s shown work in Paris and Los Angeles. And she began representing a small group of artists, including Justin Bradshaw, known for his painting of unmade beds. Akerman wanted a physical space to instill trust in collectors: “I’m allergic to the term ‘pop-up.’”

It may not be strictly a pop-up, but Galerie Sardine has a certain undefinable quality by design. Akerman says she wanted the name itself to be disarming. The sardine is a little silly, a lot maritime, and shape-shifts from the sea into a can. “There’s opportunity in being a bit odd,” she says.

Akerman and Bradley drew the gallery’s wavy logo at their kitchen table, and it’s gone on to grace a hat that became accidentally viral. The gallerist says she gets inquiries about the cap constantly, asking if it can be shipped as far away as Sri Lanka. She thinks the playfulness of the logo is universal: “Children like it, which is always a great litmus test.”

That sense of offbeat play has been part of Sardine from the outset. Akerman wanted to create a place that reflected the early days of the Hamptons mid-century art scene, when Jackson Pollock and Willem de Kooning fled the city to have a more bohemian existence. She says there are still nuggets of that world to be discovered, even amidst the “uber capitalism” of the Hamptons today.

Part of that barefoot lifestyle shows up in Galerie Sardine’s dinners and parties, where Akerman cobbles together tables and chairs from neighbors and invites chefs like Mina Stone of “Cooking for Artists,” and Borgo’s Andrew Tarlow’s son Elijah to cook. Rather than the “cardboard salmon” that she says you typically get at an art dinner, she’s passionate about serving “a good plate of local food.”

Along with the creative types you’d expect would gravitate toward such a scene, it’s also the Hamptons in high summer, which means the serious art world has taken note. Larry Gagosian has come by and bought a piece, and David Zwirner has stopped by too.

“The exclusivity of the Hamptons unavoidable,” says Akerman. Shopping at places like Prada is part of the texture of the place, she says, and it’s “very chic, very wow-factor.” But, she adds, “It’s nice to have culture too.”

‘Here, When’ by Kritika Manchanda & Rafael Prieto is on view at Galerie Sardine from June 13-July 8.

Alec and Hilaria Baldwin are still trying to offload their home in Amagansett. First listed in 2022 for $29 million, the price has been lowered multiple times, most recently to $18,995,000. Two years ago, longtime Hamptons resident Alec appeared in a wry YouTube video to promote the house (“I fell in love with this place the moment I came here”), and Hilaria recently added her own Instagram video peddling the house. The listing emphasizes all the expansion possibilities, from a proposed tennis court, guest house, and upgraded septic system (septic is an unglamorous and unavoidable aspect of Hamptons life). The couple is reportedly house hunting in Montclair, New Jersey.

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The Knicks merch craze has hit the East End. Of course real estate agent and North Fork style icon Janet Markarian’s Orient Linen Company is on the case, fast-tracking a Brunson apron ($85, above), and limited-edition Knicks totes for the Sagaponack General Store. Katie Couric’s favorite, the Monogram Shop in East Hampton, is advertising a preppy Knicks-emblazoned roll-neck sweater.

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Another monumental showdown I’ll be watching is the final episode of the Summer House reunion tonight. If there’s anything I’m proud of this year, it’s turning my husband into a Summer House Man. Common Ground regulars who want to discuss how the cast’s antics have changed the tenor of Hamptons nightlife, email me: rory@thehamptonschronicle.com.

Our signature questionnaire where we ask Hamptons insiders about their favorite spots. This week, none other than the arugula baddie and Goop CEO Gwyneth Paltrow, who has been coming to the Hamptons since she was a child, and bought her own home there in 2006. Her Goop store in Sag Harbor is one of the area’s best year-round boutiques, carrying her own Gwyn label and also brands like Fara Homidi, La Double J and Jennifer Fisher. Gwyneth’s Hamptons is an earthy, barefoot, bougie dream.

Describe your perfect Hamptons day.
A class at Tracy Anderson followed by a stop in at Jack’s Coffee in Amagansett. Lunch at home and a walk to the beach where a long afternoon is spent with a good book and many dips in the ocean.

What’s your favorite spot for a drink?
The East Hampton Grill has good, solid cocktails.

What’s your secret shopping spot?
Not sure how secret it is necessarily, but I covet everything at E-E Home.

Who would you love to bump into at the farmer’s market?
Ina Garten.

What’s your main gripe about the Hamptons?
Same as everyone, the traffic. And that people bring their city attitude to what should be the most peaceful place in the world.

What would be your dream dinner: spot, order, company?
Dinner at home with my family and best friends. I love it when the kids and all their SO’s are home, and my mom wanders up from her house for dinner. Especially if I have one of my childhood friends and their families staying. I love to eat from the garden or from Balsam Farm Stand and linger with everyone while the fireflies come out. If you are asking for a spot out, you cannot go wrong with Il Buco Al Mare— in my opinion it’s the finest food out east.

What’s your advice to newbies about a visit out east?
I would say to center your stay around cooking at home and biking or walking to the beach. People think of “The Hamptons” as a big social scene, but I think that is the wrong approach and one I personally avoid like the plague. I love connecting to the East Hampton I knew and loved as a kid, green and very serene. That still exists if you know how to navigate.

Where do you go in the Hamptons to be alone?
Louse Point.

Who can’t you live without in the Hamptons?
The Culinistas for supplying chefs for dinner parties.

Who makes the best lobster roll?
My old friend Pat Keane. I wish he would open a shack. Nowhere out there can compare.

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The Hamptons Mah Jong Boom

At 4 p.m. on Sunday, women wearing gold Cartier Love bracelets and carrying customized Louis Vuitton bags filed in to a private, wallpapered room at Shelter Island’s Pridwin Hotel for a mah jong game. Organized by co-founders Lindsay Carroll and Liz Lachcik of Hamptons Mahj, the meetup is part of an explosion of such games in the area.

The recent mah jong renaissance has been well covered, from its fertile business opportunities to accusations of cultural appropriation. The mah jong set market, which includes options by Louis Vuitton and Hermès, is projected to reach $5.2 billion by 2034. As an extension of Upper East Side and Palm Beach drawing rooms, the Hamptons has long hosted games, but this season has reached another level. Hamptons Mahj, which produces its own tile sets, has hosted games year-round at Wolffer and the Maidstone, and recently did a session at the Forbes Shook Top Women Advisor Summit in Palm Beach. Parlour Mahj, founded by two women from Westchester, is hosting events at The Drawing Room and the ultra-selective Sag Harbor country club The Bridge this summer.

Nearly every library hosts lessons; the East Hampton Library one was especially hopping when I stopped by this week. (I cannot play mah jong; my interest is purely anthropological.)

Hamptons Mahj co-founder Carroll, who also has a day job at a non-profit in New York, says the group has been getting a massive amount of inquiries from summer people “wanting a seamless continuation of their lives in the city.”

Hedge funder Zach Schreiber listed his Sagaponack compound for $152.5 million (ah, to be a fly on the wall at the meeting when they added the “point five”). If the oceanfront estate sells for that, it will break the all-time Hamptons record of $147 million for Barry Rosenstein’s 2014 purchase of three contiguous parcels on Further Lane. The house is full of wellness amenities, including a sauna, gym, plunge pool, and pilates room (pictured).

At Lisa Perry’s East Hampton exhibition space Onna House, the fabulously eclectic jewelry designer and photographer Lisa Eisner installed a bronze face on a tree (look closely in the photo above). Eisner says of the work, which is an edition of three: “Bronze and trees are grandfathers-old and wise.” Will tree jewelry be the next frontier in Hamptons gardens that are already rich in Marders’ flowering trees?

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One of my favorite things about the Candy Kitchen is that they carry all the newspapers, although owner Gus Laggis, 80, told me they’re nowhere near as popular as they used to be. He said these days they sell about 60 papers every weekend. While I was there a man in a suit stopped by to pick up the “Financial Times” before snapping a picture of the quaint 100-year-old diner and hopping on the Jitney across the street. Laggis, who immigrated from Greece, said the top menu item is Greek salad with grilled chicken.

Laggis bought the business (although not the building) in 1981. He gets offers from potential investors and buyers but, he said, “We’re not for sale.” As for the whole cash-only thing, Laggis said that’s the way he’s always operated and it works just fine. He called credit cards a “pain in the neck.” He showed me a pile of handwritten receipts behind the register, from people who forgot cash when they came and promised to come back when they did. “Everybody knows me here, and I trust everybody,” he said.

I asked if I could throw a bigger party there one day and Laggis told me they’d never allowed a private event in his 45 years as owner. “If I do it for you, I’d have to do it for everybody,” said Laggis. Sounds like a challenge!

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The Nap Dress Queen Comes to Sag Harbor

I first met Hill House Home’s Nell Diamond by Zoom in the thick of the pandemic, when I interviewed her about the success of her brand’s viral Nap Dress. The romantic, stretchy “Ellie” dress was everywhere in 2020, and it still is: Today, nearly two million Nap Dresses have been sold.

Back in 2020, Eva Chen, the vice president of fashion partnerships at Instagram, told me the dress was “Instagrammy” meaning “it has an ‘I want it in my life right now’ effect.” She said it had “an amazing ripple effect,” when people posted it online.

But Diamond didn’t just want an Instagram brand. She’s opened nine stores with plans for even more before the end of the year. The most recent opening is in a charming cottage in Sag Harbor Village, which will be open year round. On the same block as Dôen and LoveShackFancy, the shops now form a murderer’s row of romantic summer-dress brands.

Diamond told me that online data had shown that Hill House Home already had a sizable customer base in Long Island, so she sees the Sag Harbor store as a “home base” where they can come in and try on clothing in person.

The shop has vintage books from Sag Harbor Books on the shelves, decor from nearby home-goods store Via Coquina, and penny candy for $6 per bag. A mermaid weather vane was sourced for the rooftop, and a mermaid mural was commissioned for the interior. Diamond, who’s known for her romantic pallor, said, “My dream summer aesthetic is this very romantic, almost ghostly maritime whalers’ village look.”

Diamond is no stranger to beach communities. Her first permanent store was in Nantucket, where she vacations with her family. But the Hamptons is personal to her too; she has a home in Amagansett where she goes during the on and off seasons with her husband and three kids. She likes going to Vicki’s Veggies farm stand on Montauk Highway for zucchini bread and pints of John’s Drive In ice cream, and Carissa’s bakery and Cavaniola’s Gourmet for cheeses. She said she’s been looking for a space in the Hamptons for years.

Sag Harbor village is currently going through something of an identity crisis, with villagers debating the pros and cons of bigger businesses coming into Main Street (lots more to come on this in THC). At raucous town halls and panels, Nantucket is often referenced as the closest parallel to Sag; the two villages have similar protections in place to preserve their look and feel. Diamond said, “These towns have done such an incredible job of preserving what makes them special while still allowing newness in.”

The town of East Hampton has ruled in favor of a rooster’s right to crow. After a nearly three-year battle between part-time resident Marc Auerbach and his neighbor Efraîn Mayorga, the East Hampton Star reported that Town Justice David Filer ruled on the side of the rooster Brownie (who belongs to Mayorga’s granddaughter). Mayorga’s daughter, Ana Núñez Cárdenas of blue-chip law firm Latham & Watkins, told the Star that Auerbach’s renters were overheard saying, “Next time the rooster crows, take a shot.” Auerbach, who appears to be the founder of a recently shuttered venture called “Neovuu—Media for the Next Age,” did not respond to a request for comment.

In a similar case in Pennsylvania in 2020, Batchelor v. Schwartz, the rooster was not so lucky. The court ruled that the unwelcome alarm clock caused “significant harm,” including sleep disorders, for the bird’s neighbors.

Our signature questionnaire where we ask Hamptons insiders about their favorite spots. This week, East Hampton fixture, early adopter of the weighted vest, Sarah Palin’s worst nightmare, and media mogul Katie Couric on where she buys gag gifts and monogrammed cocktail napkins, and the best place to go to be alone.

Describe your perfect Hamptons day.
Getting up in the AM, going to Goldbergs for an iced coffee the size of my head and an everything flagel with tofu scallion cream cheese. Taking it to the beach and sitting with my husband John Molner and watching all the dogs frolic in the surf. Going to Hampton Racquet for an intense pickleball game (or five) with my friends who I have met through the game. I love them and they are really good! (And competitive!) Then cutting some flowers in my backyard and putting them in bud vases arranged on the outdoor dining table. Checking the progress of my vegetable garden. Running to Balsam Farms to pick up some fresh produce and maybe Stuart’s for salmon on a plank. Heading to the beach with a really good book. (John doesn’t like to come there until later). Enjoying the golden hour with friends. Going home, taking an outdoor shower, sitting on my balcony with just a towel and putting lotion on while soaking up the last few moments of setting sunlight. Making dinner for friends. Falling asleep because after all that, I’m exhausted!

What’s your favorite spot for a drink?
Bostwick’s in the Springs or The Montauket in Montauk. I also love going to The Crow’s Nest for a drink on the beach before dinner.

What’s your secret shopping spot?
I LOVE The Monogram Shop! I love buying hostess gifts there and I love Valerie the owner (and her beautiful golden retriever!). I always buy my summer glasses, cocktail napkins etc. there. I also love Fishers in Sag Harbor. I’m late to the game but they have some great pieces, including beautiful bud vases (Are you sensing a theme here?). Serena and Lily has pieces tailor made for a home out here and the people who work there are so nice. I also think Clic Home has some great things for gifts.

Who would you love to bump into at the farmer’s market?
Paul McCartney and his lovely wife Nancy Shevell.

What’s your main gripe about the Hamptons?
Traffic!!!! And the rude drivers!!!! Take a chill pill people—this isn’t NYC or wherever you’re coming from!

What would be your dream dinner: spot, order, company?
-Nick and Toni’s: the fish special.
-East Hampton Grill: I love their chicken kale salad. I could eat it every day.
-Serafina: Artichoke salad and penne with tomato sauce.
-Highway: I like their eggplant parm. It’s an appetizer (I think?) but with a salad it’s plenty!!
-I also love the ribs at Smokin’ Wolf. The people who own it are Arthur and Michelle and they are two of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.
(All with good friends.)

What’s your advice to newbies about a visit out East?
Try to avoid the crowds! If you go to Round Swamp, go early and preferably on a weekday and bring lots of cash. Eat dinner early or late and call way in advance for reservations. Rent a bike and drive down Georgica, one of the prettiest streets on the East End and check out the houses suitable for Jay Gatsby. Go to Bookhampton to browse. Sag Harbor is so fun and happening, but be careful, people will kill you for a parking spot. (I LOVE Kites of the Harbor and the gag gifts. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I’ve purchased several fart machines there.) If you’re brave, go to the Stephen Talkhouse and see my friends in Rubix Cube, an 80s cover band fronted by my good friend Cherie Neve. And of course, get a bagel or flagel by Goldbergs. Preferably wearing a Body by Goldbergs t-shirt.

Where do you go in the Hamptons to be alone?
The beach. I don’t want to say which one because that’s where I go to be alone.

Who /what can’t you live without in The Hamptons?
Andrea Mason who is such a talented landscaper and her whole crew. Josh, my caretaker who helps me when things break. Paul at Goldbergs who sometimes lets me cut the line. (Paul, I hope you’re reading this!) Carissa’s honey wheat bread that they only sell on Sundays!

Who makes the best lobster roll?
I like Gosman’s. The setting makes it more delicious.

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The Hamptons is similar to California in that it’s a driving culture. I’ve always wondered about the #92 Suffolk County bus, which goes all the way from Orient Point to East Hampton, spanning the entire north and south forks, and back again. So, like a psycho, I asked my husband to drop me off in Orient and pick me up four hours later in East Hampton (he’s a good sport). The driver told me his riders included teenagers and people going to work, but also European tourists, and one man that regularly took the ferry over from New London, CT by foot to go golfing in Southampton (He lost his license after a DUI). In Riverhead, a woman transferred from a Patchogue bus, making her commute to her night job as a senior home aide in Sag Harbor over two hours long. It’s a good reminder that for every mansion you see, there are ten stories of the people that keep it running.

Mark your calendars: I am going to start doing regular “office hours” in the mornings at Hamptons coffee shops. I’ll be at Bridgehampton Candy Kitchen at 9am on Monday, June 1. I’d love to see you there! If you can’t make it but would like to send a tip, email me at rory@thehamptonschronicle.com.

Reed Krakoff—the man who made pre-LVMH Tiffany cool—and his wife interior designer Delphine Krakoff were the buyers of the much-publicized historic Norman Jaffe house at 4 Dawn Lane on Shelter Island. The sale set a record for the island at $15.9 million, beating previous records by a couple million. Krakoff, who’s currently creative chairman for jewelry brand John Hardy, has world-class taste in real estate. He once owned Lasata, the East Hampton childhood estate of Jackie Kennedy, which was later bought by Tom Ford for $52 million during his post-Estée sale shopping spree. Presumably the Krakoffs will bring their Lalanne sheep from their Amagansett place.

Jaffe, who designed some of the most desirable modern beach houses on the East End, lived in the Hamptons for most of his life but didn’t learn to swim until he was in his 50s. He drowned while swimming off the beach in Bridgehampton in 1993.

Okay, This Is Officially the Best Breakfast Burrito in the Hamptons

Last spring, Mindy Gray reopened the Sagaponack General Store after a painstaking 5-year renovation. Gray, along with her husband Blackstone CEO Jon Gray, have long owned a home nearby and were committing to restoring the charming local store—and then some. Gray hired Frank Greenwald, the architect who famously designed Ina Garten’s Barn, to let in the light of the 1800s building. Many of the store’s products go deservedly viral, from the rotisserie chicken to the frozen yogurt, but none more so than the TikTok-famous $14 biscuit-and-soufflé egg breakfast sandwich. The store’s culinary consultant is Daniel Eddy of Brooklyn’s Winner Bakery, who gave me a tour of the impressive basement kitchen last year—everything is made from scratch! This week, a breakfast burrito joined the lineup. Gray and her general manager Gaby Green share what makes it so special:

Gray: We had gotten a lot of requests for the burrito last season and we knew we wanted to wait and do lots of taste testing and validate the ingredients. We did that with a lot of different demographics. We have one that’s vegetarian that has potato in it which was very divisive in the tasting because you were either pro potato or not. A younger demographic likes potatoes. We also have one with chorizo.
Green: They both have the same soufflé egg that we use in the breakfast sandwich, roasted poblano peppers, black beans, Oaxacan cheese. The wraps come from Vato in Brooklyn—they drive them out. They come with either a green sauce or a red sauce.
Gray: We had five sauces that we developed and it was hard to limit it to two.
Green: We started selling them on Monday and there’s been a very positive response. They’ve been selling out by 9:30.
Gray: We want to serve everyone.

Learn more about the Sagaponack General Store in the upcoming print issue of THC.

The South Fork is feeling very “Chicken Soup for the Soul” this week. A little petting zoo’s worth of tiny animals was spotted on the loose in the middle of Route 114 last Thursday, headed toward Sag Harbor. Two local goats, Ozzy and Binky Bob, and one miniature pony, Blackie, escaped from a nearby private home and were returned safely within a couple of hours. The animals’ owner, who keeps them as pets, has confirmed to me that there are now six master locks on their gate. Blackie is shown above.

On Tuesday, the police force swore in its most recent recruit: a therapy dog named Gillie. Gillie’s handler is Sergeant Kelly Anderson, who has great hair. Gillie seems to be very well trained with the help of Pup-Peroni treats.

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As a former columnist and editor at The Wall Street Journal with deep ties to The Hamptons, I’ve long dreamed of covering the area more fully. My grandfather and great-grandfather owned and operated small newspapers and magazines in northern Wisconsin (one devoted solely to snowmobiling), and I grew up thinking that was the most fulfilling way to live in a community. My late Grandpa Dan had a long-running column in one of his own newspapers called “On My Mind.”

What’s been on my mind is the wild range of stories in my adopted home of Eastern Long Island. Locals rage against weekenders; elite potheads go to war with the sobriety police; preservationists butt heads with developers. The drama that plays out year-round, from real-estate battles to drug-fueled murders to oyster theft, escalates in the summer when the population balloons from 100,000 to four times that.

The Hamptons Chronicle will cover real estate, parties, drugs, wildlife, crime, fashion, food, local politics, and finance. Expect a newsletter twice a week, merch, fun stuff on Instagram and TikTok, and a print edition. If you’re a local, a weekender, or just a voyeur, I’d love to hear from you: rory@thehamptonschronicle.com. The next time a pop star has one too many martinis at The American Hotel, I’ll be there.

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• Sun Life Organics, a smoothie spot started in Malibu by the vocal recovering heroin addict Khalil Rafati, opened in the old Estia’s space. (K Pasa absorbed some of its staff and is promising Estia’s-ish breakfasts.) If you’re nostalgic for Estia’s famous green sauce, the clever local private chef Robyn Henderson-Diederiks posted a video of her approximation of it.

• Barlume Beach, a “full-scale beach club” in Montauk with a hotel, marina, and restaurant from John Meadow’s LDV Hospitality, is definitely summer-people bait, but I enjoy glowy July evenings at LDV’s spot in East Hampton at The Maidstone. Sounds like they’re angling for the boat-in crowd that makes spots like Duryea’s Orient and Sunset Beach in Shelter Island such cash cows.

• At Babe’s Diner in Sag, where it’s already impossible to nab one of the 8 counter seats, the move is ordering the A+ pancakes to eat in nearby Memorial Park.

  

• Chanel is back in East Hampton at 17 Newtown Lane, and the girlies are lining up, waiting up to an hour to purchase pieces from Matthieu Blazy’s “Coco Beach” collection. The brand used to have a seasonal boutique across the street at a gray-shingled 1897 “cottage” that’s now home to Rolex. Last year an influencer told me: “If you don’t take a selfie in front of the little Chanel boutique house-looking store, then I’m not sure if you even went to the Hamptons.”

Secrets of a Gen-Z DTC Fisherman

On New Year’s Eve, I bought a bag of fresh lobster caught that very day from a 29-year-old Shelter Island fisherman, Sawyer Clark. The Peconic Bay gets pretty icy in December, and it’s not exactly a hotbed of lobstering. But Clark, who grew up selling seafood and ice off a cart attached to his bike, lives to fish.

Clark’s lobster hauls are rare on Long Island. These days, almost all the crustaceans for the lobster rolls you eat in the Hamptons come from Maine. In September 1999, there was a mass die-off of lobsters in the Long Island Sound that has been explained by shifting water temperatures, disease, and pesticide runoff. Dead lobsters floated everywhere; the industry has never recovered. Lobster landings in New York State have dropped 97% since 1998. But East End lobstering is slowly returning.

In addition to lobster—which he traps with his father, who has the license—Clark catches striped bass, sea bass, weakfish, fluke, calamari, and the occasional scallops. He and his wife Norma, who runs the business alongside him, are tickled when customers demand salmon or tuna, which don’t swim in the bay.

A commercial fisherman, Clark turned to direct-to-consumer selling from his own cooler on Shelter Island during Covid, as a way to turn a profit in the increasingly precarious fishing economy. Clark says that on the first day of the scalloping season in November, he caught 10 scallops—which he tossed back. Meanwhile, the steering on his boat broke, meaning a $7500 repair cost. The boat, which has a mortgage, costs $400 to run per night with fuel. So one day of scalloping, which would have been profitable in his father’s day, netted him nearly negative $8k.

But Clark, who works alone from 8pm to 7am, talks about the beauty of the bay at sunrise as he rocks out to his playlist. After all, he says, it sure beats “a land job.”
Read more, including how many great white sharks Clark spots, in our first print issue.

Just as Memorial Day weekend was kicking off, Brooklyn woman Ruth Pamela Guzman Rosario, 21, allegedly broke into Ralph Lauren’s Double RL store in East Hampton and stole $21,250 worth of merchandise. Sources told me the thief broke the glass doors shown above with a fire extinguisher, and then made off with the haul to a nearby apartment. Police chased her onto a rooftop where she was spotted by a drone. (The East Hampton police are pros at luxury theft; In 2022, the force staged a press conference displaying the Balenciaga handbags it recovered after a high-speed car chase) It’s not as hard as it sounds to make off with over $20k of clothing at a store where a pair of rare 1950s vintage Lee jeans costs $1650.

Our signature questionnaire where we ask Hamptons insiders about their favorite spots. First up: partner in the value creation company FundamentalCo, RHONY refugee, peony lover, and part-time Springs resident Jenna Lyons on her dream day:

Describe your perfect Hamptons day.
Cass surfing at the crack of dawn. Coffee At S&S. If I’m feeling cavalier, I’ll get a croissant or focaccia bread. Pilates With Rasa. Grass watering. Load all friends, children and animals into the boat. Lunch is optional. Dog walk is after the boat. BBQ dinner. Making s’mores by the water. Bed by 9:29pm.

What’s your favorite spot for a drink?
Il Buco Al Mare.

What’s your secret shopping spot?
S&S Corner Shop or “Across The Street” by E-E Home. The likelihood of a very unsummery selvedge denim jean escorting me home is a distinct possibility.

Who would you love to bump into at the farmer’s market?
Julianne Moore.

What’s your main gripe about the Hamptons?
Round Swamp Farm is not open all year round. Also, my glam squad doesn’t do house calls.

What would be your dream dinner: spot, order, company?
For the spot, our deck. The order is oysters, surf & turf BBQ, pies, cakes and ice cream. The dessert to dinner food ratio is 70-30. The company would be Beckett, Leo, Mae, Cass, Sara, Pascal, Ethan, Andy, Gideon, Sarah, June, Luke, Tuck, Popeye, Megatron, Rimba And Charlie.

What’s your advice to newbies about a visit out East?
Have you heard of a place called the North Fork?

Where do you go in the Hamptons to be alone?
That’s an oxymoron.

What’s your go-to hostess gift?
Handmade twisted candles or high-quality olive oil from Il Buco Vita.

Who makes the best lobster roll?
Lunch Lobster Roll.

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More About Me:
I split my time between New York City and Shelter Island, where I live with my husband and daughter. Sometimes I’m in L.A., where I’ve worked as a creative consultant to “Emily in Paris” since 2021. During my eight years as chief columnist and executive fashion director at WSJ, some of my most popular stories were about the Hamptons, including a look at the jaw-dropping price of a girls’ weekend, an exclusive on Scott Sartiano’s battle with East Hampton’s mayor Jerry Larsen over the Hedges Inn, and a piece on the elite Bridgehampton fitness scene.