Isaac Mizrahi, Lindsay Lohan, and Weed Wackers
Plus: East Hampton wages war on a meditating sculpture.
It’s been a rainy week in the Hamptons, but that hasn’t stopped everyone from watching the World Cup in makeshift outdoor tiki bars with jerry-rigged giant screens—they’re everywhere. This weekend, I’m going to a “wellness event” at the Water Mill spa Shou Sugi Ban House, which is working to reclaim its tranquil reputation after the 2024 murder on its grounds. Then I’ll be watching the Shelter Island fireworks from a house on the hill, a safe distance from the brawls at Sunset Beach. But if there’s a brawl: call me.
If you have kids, consider heading to the Southampton Playhouse on Sunday morning, where they’re showing “Shaun the Sheep” along with a meet-and-greet with a “real sheep from our local farming community.” Cute idea. The Southampton movie theater, revamped by real-estate developer Aby Rosen and his son Charlie, is yet another example of an ambitious billionaire-led project in the Hamptons.
Happy 40th birthday to Lindsay Lohan, who celebrated at Le Bilboquet in Sag Harbor. I’m sure the staff enjoyed cleaning up from the confetti cannons which were part of the party.
In today’s (free) newsletter, local drama galore, including the ongoing war against gas-powered landscaping tools and an escalation of tension between East Hampton and Max Levai’s art institution The Ranch. But first: a Hamptons Ten with none other than our Belgian-shoe-wearing king (not Madoff!): fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi. He’s on a mission to save the Bridgehampton Carvel from its eventual fate as cannabis dispensary “Budhampton.”
Isaac Mizrahi’s Not-Fabulous Hamptons Guide
This week, the news broke that Isaac Mizrahi’s 1995 documentary “Unzipped” would return to theaters in September. I consider it to be one of the best fashion documentaries of all time, along with “Dior and I,” so I’m delighted. Mizrahi and I did a live Q+A at a screening of the film in Brooklyn some years back, and I’d like to manifest a redux at the Sag Harbor Cinema this fall. Mizrahi, who was just announced as the first creative director at large of Target, has been a Bridgehampton denizen for decades. A dog lover, every year he draws the artwork for the Animal Rescue Foundation’s Stroll to the Sea Dog Walk. Here’s his Carvel and canine-filled guide to his cozy corner of Bridgehampton.
Describe your perfect Hamptons day.
A long bike ride / breakfast at Bridgehampton Candy Kitchen / farm stand / beach late in the day / solitude / pasta / tomatoes / barbecue.
What’s your favorite spot for a drink?
Elaia Estiatorio.
What’s your secret shopping spot?
Comerford Collection (which is not such a secret).
Who would you love to bump into at the farmer’s market?
I would love to bump into Parker Posey who I used to bump into all the time at Pike’s farm stand.
What’s your main gripe about the Hamptons?
Obviously that there are too many people. My solution is I don’t spend much time there on July and August weekends. I’m usually in the city on weekends. Also I stay off the roads. I mostly stay home with my dogs which I LOVE to do.
What would be your dream dinner: spot, order, company?
This is the pipe dream: some day I will have a party pavilion somewhere on the beach in Sagaponack. (Not where I live, but a separate residence where I can host a dinner party and leave when I feel like leaving.)
What’s your advice to newbies about a visit out East?
Relax. Drop the idea that the Hamptons are fabulous. I’m not into The Fabulous Hamptons. Take a bike ride, go to the beach with a sandwich, stay home, cook, rescue a pair of dogs from ARF.
What’s your go-to gift for hosts/hostesses?
A package of “flying saucers” (ice cream sandwiches) from Carvel in Bridgehampton. Which is closing soon which breaks my heart. I feel like we need a cause to keep it there across from King Kullen forever and LANDMARK IT.
Who makes the best lobster roll?
1. Loaves and Fishes in Sagaponack 2. Lunch in Montauk.
What’s the perfect book to read in the Hamptons?
Andy Warhol’s Diaries.
Who should fill out this questionnaire next?
Sarah Jessica Parker.
[Ed. note: I’m trying!]
An Embattled Buddha
Not all locals are excited about the latest installation at gallerist Max Levai’s The Ranch, near the former Andy Warhol estate in Montauk. Los Angeles artist Matt Johnson’s monumental sculpture, “Meditating Figure,” was made from 12 decommissioned shipping containers, reassembled as a peaceful cross-legged meditator. “Each container logs about a million miles before being retired,” noted Johnson on his Instagram.
Townspeople were already buzzing when cranes began installing the shipping containers on the property. “Would have been easier to tape a banana to the wall,” said one social media cynic.
At this week’s East Hampton Town Board meeting, the board voted to authorize legal action against The Ranch for failing to submit the sculpture to the building department. Town attorney Jake Turner said, “By definition, this is a structure. They’re welding large pieces of metal together. It needs to go through the Building Department for applicable safety standard checks. If we don’t take action, then we are compromising the safety of the residents.” The Ranch did not respond to a request for comment.
Emma Cline wrote her novel “The Guest” partly while staying at Larry Gagosian's Hamptons guest cottage. In it, she writes: “So much effort and noise required to cultivate this landscape, a landscape meant to invoke peace and quiet.” (Thanks to one of my cleverest readers, David Roberts, for reminding me of that quote.) The book identifies one of the great headaches of the Hamptons: landscaping noise.
Despite heavy restrictions on gas-powered landscaping tools, including leaf blowers being completely banned from May 20 to September 20 in East Hampton and Southampton, the noise has still been “out of control” recently, said one resident. In the past week, the police blotter has been filled with reports of gas-powered weed wackers being used at unsanctioned times. Fines can be up to $5,000, which, one hopes, are being paid by Georgica Road homeowners and not their gardeners.
If you know someone who would like The Hamptons Chronicle, please share it with them! Support local news. 💙